Having emerged from, what I hope, was the lowest point of grief and feeling more myself again, I've really been able to take a step back and evaluate the state of things around me. The result of this has been a good kick in the pants with the realization of the pain others are experiencing on an ongoing basis. Family, friends, and loved ones are mourning tragedy, battling illness, and are rebuilding their lives from scratch. Even though I've been knowledgeable of these situations, I don't know what's possessed me to almost believe I've been the worst off. I think it's just part and parcel of the fallen human condition that we get lost in our woes and forget to count our blessings, but I'd like to try and rise above that now that I'm aware of my faults.
I randomly stumbled upon a blog kept by a married Christian couple who lost their 9-month-old to a rare and aggressive brain tumor this past year. It follows their journey from his diagnosis to his passing only a month later, and then into their coping process up until now. It scares me to think how caught up in myself I've been while two people are going through a type of pain I can't even fathom, even though they have logged thousands of words about it. I don't have a child and I don't even know these people, but strangely I feel the urge to carry some of the burden with them.
I guess this is the true meaning of
compassion, and it's something I'd like to hone while the time is ripe. Admittedly, I'm such an analytical type, so often stuck in my own mind, that it can take a real effort to step outside myself and truly, TRULY care and sacrifice for others. But it's seemed to come a little more naturally lately, and it's been a fruitful time to really connect with others and filling some of my own voids as a byproduct. I hope I only gain momentum in this realm as I continue in my growth process.
Acts 20:35: In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.
[Quick update on the running front: I am currently running 6 miles about 3 times a week with walking and cross training on the days in between. I'm down about 7 pounds from my horrific weigh in of a couple weeks ago--that is, if the scale is reading accurately. This is a great victory seeing as my legs continue to fill out with muscle, and so I must be slimming down in other areas. I'm officially signed up for the Rock 'n' Roll half on July 22nd and will start training officially in a couple months. Since I anticipate being able to run 8 or 9 miles straight by that time, I'll probably pick up later in the training schedule where I'm already running more miles. Onward!]
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