Week 10

Week: 10
Total Miles Run: 16 (3 miles, 3 miles, 13 miles!)

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

No, not in the "George Bush on an aircraft carrier circa 2003" kind of way. (Sorry, George)

I really did it!

The week leading up to race day was a good one.  In just a matter of a couple days, I went from begging and pleading for people to help make a miracle happen with my TMC fundraising (I had more than $350 to go as of last Sunday), to watching the money pour in.  After an extremely generous donation from a couple that ultimately made me reach my $1000 goal early in the week, a lot of the extreme anxiety I had over blowing it on race day, or failing in my own eyes was washed away.  I realized that if God could make big bucks get raised in a matter of days, He could help me run big miles.

As great a blessing as it was, it didn't stop me from having some serious pre-race jitters come Saturday.  All I wanted to do was jump on the course and get this thing done with!  Thankfully a lot of the jitters got channeled into pumped-uped-ness when I reached the Running Expo at McCormick place Saturday afternoon. All the runners, all the cool exhibits, all the swanky gear, and I felt like becoming a die-hard runner (as if I haven't been enough of one already).

 Getting to sleep that night in our Congress Plaza Hotel room was pretty difficult, as you can imagine.  In part, due to highly engaging episodes of Lock up , also in part to too much fun on AntiJokes.com (Q:Why did the airplane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.)

Morning came nice and quickly and I proceeded to force feed myself breakfast, get all gussied up for the run, and head to the starting line a mere blocks from our hotel.  I have to say it was an awesome boost of confidence to have both my parents and two good friends in my entourage.

 Once at my corral, I was already sweating from the humidity (hello, 80 degree morning!) and the anticipation.  But the energy was awesome, the view was incredible, and the race got off without a hitch.

There were only a few things on my mind as I got going.  One, I wanted to go at a pace where running the whole thing would be feasible. If it meant I had to run 15 minute miles, I was prepared.

Two, I could only hope and pray not to get an upset stomach from undigested food.  Let's just say my stomach hasn't always been my friend on some of my training runs, and though I had access to the facilities, they were only every mile or so and with big lines (a lot of small bladders in this race!) so I told my intestines to hang in there!

Three, I did not want to face the humiliation of passing out in the middle of the race and spending the rest of the day in a hospital with an IV and then have to come back, tail between my legs, with such a report for all of you.

Well, clearly none of these mishaps would have been the end of the world, but in my high-achieving mind, they basically were.  My goal and two disasters to avoid were accomplished.

Mile 2, This is TOO easy

I have a few things/people I would like to thank for that:
-The shade of skyscrapers (also something amazing to look at while running)
-The copious ice/water/Gatorade stations
-The girl with the sign that said "Katniss Could Do It"
-My awesome playlist on my iPhone that had me mouthing the lyrics while I ran I was so into it
-The girl with the side that said "Ryan Gosling is at the finish line"
-Linda jumping in with me at mile 7 until the end to keep me distracted and to fetch me supplies
-Carissa and my parents cheering me on along the way

Mile 7, feeling great!

Mere feet to go, and not feel so hot. Fake smile for the crowd!

Oh yeah, this sucks

I honestly don't know if I could have gone 10 more steps the way I was feeling when I crossed that finish line. Maybe it was just my body reacting to my brain's knowledge that I was at the end and it was okay to shut down.  There wasn't an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and pride when I finished. Even managing a fist pump at the end was a lot of work.  I was in major leg pain, my eyes were drowning in sweat, and my intestines were in the beginning stages of rebellion. But gosh darn it, I had done it! 13.1 miles, no running, 2 hours and 22 minutes.

Again, because of my high achiever hard wiring, I'm having a hard time soaking up the congratulations and lauding right now.  (Though, admittedly, I did already slap the "13.1" sticker on the back of my car and went out today in my official half marathon race shirt.  *Gloat*)  Instead, I can turn it to gratefulness for the people who supported me whether through fundraising, prayers, words of encouragement, or however else.  Throughout this process I tried to make this as little about me as possible, and more about what was being done through me, and what I could do for others.

Will I do this again?  Talk to me when I've fully recovered the use of my legs.  Probably, though.  I've already got plans to do a 10K in the coming weeks (pssh, 6 miles is a cakewalk now.) Hopefully I will continue running regularly because I've come to enjoy it and all its benefits.  

But first, I'll have to get a new set of shoes. :)


2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Week 9

Week: 9
Total Miles Run: 12 (3 miles, 3 miles, 6 miles)

"You're going running?...Right now?...Out THERE?"

I've received that inquiry in some variation from several of my friends each time I've declared the need to get in my miles.  My blanket response to them:

"Uh...yep?"

There have been few certainties along this 10 week journey:

1) I must get in my designated training miles at some point
2) I must do it outside
3) It must be no cooler than 90 degrees with glaring sunlight

Perhaps it may be wiser for my health and wellbeing to wait until the twilight hours, or perhaps 2 o' clock in the morning when Lake County gets its only relief of the day.  But, I've just been facing the realities of the "real thing" approaching in less than a week. 

Sunday's weather report is a BIIIIG shocker.

Are you sensing my sarcasm?

Now, my saving grace is that I start running at 6:30 A.M. and should finish no later than 9 A.M., so the 6 miles I did at 2 P.M. yesterday in 93 degree heat with no shade was probably excessive (as excessive as the steady stream of sweat into my left eye that had me looking like a one-eyed pirate the whole route). Yeah, that didn't feel so good.  But I guess I would liken it to a baseball player taking a few practice swings with weight on his bat before stepping up to the plate: It'll make the real deal feel pleasantly effortless...for the first 10 miles or so. Ahem.

Race week is upon us.  I would lie if I said I wasn't full of anxiety about the whole thing, even though I'm well conditioned and in optimal health.  I suppose it's the fear of the unknown. But I'm glad to have the support of some good friends and family cheering me on in the early morning madness.  It's a crash bang start to my 27th year of life, that's for sure!

Admittedly, I've had a lot of unfounded fear and anxiety about life in general lately, and my first line of defense has been going to prayer and scripture.  It'll be no different on Sunday when the going gets rough and the mind starts playing tricks on me. 

I feel blessed to have been able to reach this week relatively uneventfully (save a pogo sticking debacle that could have ended it all this weekend. Yikes.) and to be able to enjoy the growth in strength and determination gradually and with relative ease. 

I appreciate all your support and prayers and encouragement and I'll take all I can get this week!

Onward!

In the day when I called, You answered me; and You strengthened me with strength in my inner self. Psalm 138: 3

Week 8

Week: 8
Total Miles Run: 15 (4 miles, 4 miles, 7 miles)

Surprisingly, on a training week that required 5 less miles than the previous, I found out about going past my physical limits.

A little change in schedule and extra work out opportunity had me working out 7 days in a row with no rest day as the training guide calls for.  In between my second 4 mile run and 7 mile run, I took up a friend on the opportunity to join a one-time Body Attack class for free. I haven't done high-interval training in awhile and I love the sweet pain I feel afterwards in all my under-worked areas, along with some quick trim down.  How I felt DURING the class was a whole different issue...

On par with the likes of Insanity and P90x (though I've never done either of those) I certainly got more than I reckoned for and, come Sunday morning, I found some new muscles I'd never known could be exercised by way of pain whenever I so much as breathed.

But I still had my long run to work in before the training week was up. So, feeling pretty energized and about 20 degrees cooler outside, I went for my 7 mile run. The result was not so good.  I was dehydrated, super sore, and super low energy, having to actually WALK a bit, catch a drink at the Dominick's along the way, and then hobble-run the rest of the way home.

The commandment I offer, for anyone who may be inspired to follow suit: THOU SHALT TAKETH HEED OF THY REST DAYS.

You don't have to do the workouts and rests in the exact order provided, but don't do more than 4 cardio/run sequences in a row without taking a rest day.  They're not just suggestions or pats on the back for a job well done. They're necessary to let the muscles and joints recover and for energy to build up again.

I, above everyone, should be savvy about the dangers of not taking advantage of the margins offered for refreshment and recuperation. I've certainly hit walls before in other ways, and athletic training is certainly no exception.

So, taking it easy for a couple days with an even easier week of runs and training planned to help accommodate my recharging as I head towards the finish line...of the starting line. :)

Hebrews 4:9-11
There remains therefore a Sabbath rest for the people of God. For the one who has entered His rest has himself also rested from his works, as God did from His. Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall through following the same example of disobedience.

Week 7

Week: 7
Total miles: 20 (5 miles, 5 miles, 10 miles)

If there was a word to describe this week, it would probably be Extreme.  Unfortunately, some of that extreme had to do with my eating.  I am really good at taking healthful foods and making them not so healthful by eating them in mass proportions.

However, I was plenty active, too. I suppose the apex of the week was taking part in the Dirty Girl Run: a 5K with about 10 insane obstacles in between including scaling a vertical wall, army crawling under a net about 6 inches off the ground, and lots and lots of mud baths.  I went full out on the course and, as a result, am having trouble lifting my arms to so much as get dressed in the morning.

To keep the insanity going, I had my longest run of the training regime--10 miles.  Besides the rabid thirst I always experience in the last few miles, it was a success!  I'm pretty confident that I am going to be able to run the full 13.1 come race day (God willing)! The funniest thing: about half way through my run I ran by a guy I recognized as "Mr. Magic" from Runner's Edge.  How appropriate he be apart of what he helped happen with my fantastic shoes! I did not bother to try to talk to him as I was dead set to keep running, and thought it'd be mighty embarrassing if he didn't recognize me dripping sweat and looking like death. I just internalized my surprise and ran on.

Summer has definitely treated me well thus far--plenty of friends, fun, and plenty of sunshine and that's all I can ask of my summer. 

It's officially race month!

I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]. Philippians 4: 13

Week 6

Week: 6
Total miles run: 14 (4 miles, 4 miles, 6 miles)

Well, I'm throwing in the towel on tracking my weight loss because it just doesn't seem to be happening despite more running and no real changes in diet.  I continue to celebrate changes in how my clothes fit and am feeling good, so that satisfies the vanity aspect for me.

With a pretty mild week of training, the real highlight was the bonus work out I received Saturday evening at the wedding reception of my friends, Jason and Christi.  If there was an inter-church freestyle dancing competition, I'm pretty sure the honors would go to mine.  I was among some good company to rock the dance floor.  I've taken a lot of joy in dancing since my 2007 weight loss, since it prevented me from even venturing onto a dance floor in the past.  I may look like a spastic idiot dancing--and many of my friends can vouch for that--but I sure don't feel self-conscious anymore about it.  My conditioning  only contributed to the idiocy because, with something like 87 miles under my belt in the last 6 weeks,  I could have danced to House of Pain all night.

Week 7 is the climax of my training, with the longest run of my life in store.  I've been feeling a little tight and achy lately, but feel blessed to have had no major obstacles to my health all this time. 

Less than a month until the big race!

Psalm 149:3

Let them praise his name in the dance:

Week 5

Week: 5

Total Miles Run: 19 (5 miles, 5 miles, 9 miles)

Weight loss: Yeah, not so much

The scale is giving me numbers again that I don't like so much. But more importantly, I accomplished a 9 mile run at one of those rare sub-90 degree weather moments of the past few days (which makes it hard to believe I gained 5 lbs. over the weekend, Mr. Scale).  It was a long one, but not horrible.  There were two things in particular I gleaned from that hour and a half of physical challenge. 1) There is a lot of uncollected roadkill on the highways of Mundelein/Wauconda  2) There's nothing like a gruelingly long run to clear your mind of every little trouble and replace it with just one thought: WATER.  I think Americans should spend more time putting themselves in survival mode so they don't forget how trivial most their problems are in the light of basic needs getting met.  Needless to say, when I finally reached home, I destroyed a bottle of Gatorade and nearly destroyed the hungry cat that tried to get in between me and the fridge.

It was definitely a good week of running. It blows my mind that, with all the miles I've put in at this point, I might actually be able to label myself a runner.  I like the sound of that, and if I continue to feel this good, I imagine it's something I want to continue pursuing even after my half.  I always love new pursuits. :)


Therefore my heart is glad and my glory [my inner self] rejoices; my body too shall rest and confidently dwell in safety. Psalm 16: 9

Week 4

Week:4

 Total miles run: 17 (4 miles, 5 miles, 8 miles)

Weight loss: -2 lbs.

This weekend I ran my first race in 19 years.  The last time I crossed a finish line it was last place in the Thanksgiving Turkey Trot at 7 years old.  Luckily, my first ever 5K this weekend was pretty low pressure.  I won't even count that 3.1 miles as part of my training because I ended up walking most of it. 

No, I haven't regressed catastrophically.  I was actually a volunteer buddy at the Girls on the Run event at Soldier Field--a program designed to promote self-confidence in young girls.  It was an early morning, a hot day, and there are about 5 teeny-bopper songs I will never listen to again as a result (sorry Carly Rae Jepsen, I'm calling you NEVER.)   I was assigned the Speedy Gonzalez of the group and was a little bit intimidated that this 11 year old was going to leave me in the dust.  She did--for about the first mile--then petered out the rest of the race, save a couple desperate sprints in between despite all my cajoling to go at an easy, maintainable pace.

It was fun to be apart of a run that I approached as a piece of cake in the grand scheme of things because of all my hard training.  I also particularly liked the moment when my runner was floored to find out I wasn't 17.

Another highlight of the training week was last night when I plowed through an 8 mile run in 90 degree temps.  Too anxious to wait until twilight to start it, I ended up running at the hottest part of the day (4 pm-ish) and only suffered a little for it.  Knowing what a mind game these long runs can be, I used the time well to do some prayer for other people and keep my mind off of me as much as possible. Had I brought water on the run, I think I could have kept going just fine. This is promising as I anticipate it can't possibly get up to 90 degrees at 6:30 AM on July 22nd even if it's the hottest day of the year (I think. Gulp).

With some more weight loss and people finally starting to notice (Thanks, Brittany!) I'm definitely starting to feel how worth while this all is if only for a confidence booster. I even ventured to the pool in the ol' bikini this week *gasp*! It takes a really confident day to do that.  More than just my vanity, God has been sending lots of gifts my way to remind me of my value and I'm grateful for that.


Psalm 17:8  Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings

Week 3

Week:3

 Total miles run: 12 (4 miles, 4 miles, 4 miles)

Weight loss: (Assuming -1 lbs. last week) Maintained

Okay, okay.  Maintaining weight when I'd ideally like to lose some shouldn't be something to brag about, unless your diet of the last few days included brownies, ice cream, milkshakes, marshmallows, red vines,  and M&M's.  All things considered, I'm pretty darn proud of myself.  All that catastrophic cheating is excused as I was on the Momentum spring retreat, and the biking excursion on Saturday--in which the contents of my stomach were nearly at my throat from the exertion of uphill work--probably incinerated a few hundred of those cals.  I'm also quite proud to announce that, despite a grueling black diamond biking experience, I really have no soreness (save the bike seat butt disease) and ran 4 miles easily today, which is probably a good indication of how conditioned I am already for intense physical workouts. Got to love those tangible gains.

Besides the physical workout, the retreat provided a great spiritual workout.  The topic--male and female relationships--couldn't have been better timed for where I am in life, and it was a much needed reminder about what I'm striving for in my future marriage and the time leading up to it.  I loved Pastor Jason's metaphor, which I just now realized was completely appropriate for my current pursuit.  He likened finding God's match for us to running the race continually toward Christ and one day looking to beside us to find that special someone running at pace with you.  I don't need to be taking any side trips or detours or changing pace to accommodate the One.  He should be my running buddy, helping me all the more in the race.

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Week 2

Week: 2

 Total miles run: 13 (3 miles, 3 miles, 7 miles)

Weight loss:  Somewhere between -1 lbs. and + 8 lbs.  (See below)

I hate the scale.  It's become an object of obsession in times past, particularly when I dropped all my weight 5 years ago and checked myself sometimes multiple times a day.  This practice is already unhealthy, but it becomes a mind game when the scale is unreliable and registers a different number about every third time I get on it.  It's doubtful I gained 8 lbs. in a week, but then again maybe the last few readings from weeks previous have been wrong.  Anyway,  I'm trying not to sweat the numbers (because I'm doing enough sweating already) and I'm encouraged by how I'm looking and feeling after a couple weeks of watching my food intake a bit better and consistently training.

But, enough about my vanity, as that's not really the whole point of this endeavor.  My 7 miler this week felt pretty good--that is--after the fact.  It's mildly comical the range of feelings and emotions I get on those long runs usually in this order: "Man, I'm not even half way done and I'm pretty sure I'm going to pass out...Man, I'm more than half way done and I'm feeling great like I could go forever!....Man, I have 100 yards to go and my legs might fall off before I get home...Man, that run was easy, I can do this again with no problem." The reality is that my body is well equipped to complete this thing, I just need to achieve that mind-over-matter hurdle.  I know it'll help on race day when I have 5,000 people running in the same direction helping me not feel so sorry for myself on mile 6 or so.

My last full week of school balancing training and a full work day,  and I'm thankful for that.  I've opted out of taking some online summer school courses, which was a total answer to prayer about being too busy and overloaded this summer.  I'm looking forward to a nice balance between staying busy (teaching summer school, taking professional development courses, training, vacationing) and getting some much needed rest.

It was a great long Memorial Day weekend of friends and family and also some good alone time as well. I'm ready for week 3!

Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Week 1

Week: 1 Total miles run: 12 (3 miles, 3 miles, 6 miles)

Weigt loss: 2 pounds

A successful first official week of training!

The 3 mile runs were easy peasy, but the 6 was a bit of a challenge due to my first taste of to weather running Saturday morning. I better buck up and get used to it, because it's going to be a reality of training over the summer months, and who knows how high the temps could get come the morning of the race. The welcomed weigh loss is in thanks to keeping my low sugar oath (for the most part. The red velvet cupcake at small group was a necessary cheating moment). Also, diet pop didn't touch my lips until Saturday. The naturally flavored sparkling water I found at Trader Joe's was a sufficient substitute. Lastly,I must thank the MyFitnessPal app on my iPhone that is reminiscent of the weight watchers tracking tool I used back in the day to loose half a human worth of pounds. The tracker is a good, but humbling, reminder of just how quickly you use up allotted calories for the day. It has me on a 1,200 calorie per day regimen for 2 lbs./week weight loss (mission accomplished! Well, for week 1) and it also lets me track exercise to earn calories back. Self image has continued to be a huge issue for me lately--not just physical appearance, but self worth and the standards by which I tend to measure it. I am seeking to get my mind off myself as much as possible and my thoughts on serving others. On to week 2! Upping the run just a bit, and continuing my sugar/diet pop restriction resolution. Phillipians 2:3-4 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

The [OFFICIAL] [BUT STILL METAPHORICAL] starting line

After an approximately 9 mile run yesterday, it's slightly humorous to announce that my half-marathon training is officially beginning this week.  With all the busyness and spring fever, it didn't strike me until I was driving home this week that that far off date in late May when I would actually start a regimen could actually be here.  I promptly inquired of Siri how many weeks there were until July 22nd, and she did not fail me in revealing that that today, Sunday, May 13th, is go time.

Just minutes ago, I sought out a half-marathon training schedule that I think may be appropriate.  It is for regular runners, or those running 10 or-so miles a week. (Whoa, I'm a regular runner! Weird.)  Though it is designed for 12 weeks, instead of 10, I can easily start at Week 3 since I've already been averaging a bit more than 10 miles a week.  It's a good mix of runs and cross-training and rest.  My schedule

Physically, I feel pretty confident right now.  My biggest concern is my knees and just my legs in general, that really start cramping up in the later miles.  I hate black top, but I'm going to have to get used it since that's what I'm up against (or down against, should I say) on race day.  I'm still contemplating going and getting some of those really simplistic knee braces which are just a little added support for the tendons and knee cap.  But, I'm hoping that training and some added strength conditioning will alleviate some of the pain. 

As for emotionally?  Well, I'll admit I've been pretty down on myself lately.  It's such a matter of perspective and spiritual health because there's not much to be down about.  Despite all the muscle I've built and not the best eating habits this weekend, the scale is showing a pretty favorable number all things considered.  But I'm struck tonight by how much better results I could be seeing from all this hardcore working out if I'd still be a little better to my body. 

So, to accompany my first week of official training, I have resolved to make some simple diet alterations.

1) No foods over 9 grams of sugar.  That'll limit me to flavored cheerios and granola bars in the sweets department.

2)No diet pop (wah!). This will be the toughy. I think a lot of my hang up on pop is my love for carbonation. SO, I'm going to get some carbonated water (or, should I call it gas water since I'm such a Euro-file?) as a slightly healthier alternative.

 Who knows, these couple of tweaks may shed some quick pounds this week.  Either way, it'll make me feel a little perkier for the discipline.  If even that fails to make me feel better about myself, I don't have to look far to remind myself of the Truth...

2 Timothy 1:7 For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Let the games begin!

Calling all Cheerful Givers

After all the posts about "me, myself, and I", here's a lovely digression.

This summer's half marathon will be run in support of the Lake County based Teen Mother Choices.  It's an amazing ministry that has even been featured on MTV's "16 and Pregnant".  While showing Christ's love and grace to a population of girls who are often scoffed at and ostracized, TMC also offers empowerment and sets high standards for those who have committed to mothering their children, but need support. 

I am attempting to raise $1,000 for TMC through my run and I need your help to reach the goal!  Follow the link below to the "Racers" page and scroll down to my name to donate to my race!  Any donation, great or small, will be much appreciated.

http://teenmotherchoices.org/?page_id=1355


(2 Corinthians 9:7) . . .Let each one do just as he has resolved in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Smooth Move, Slick Rick

From the end of March until this beautiful Easter weekend, when I eked out an 8.6 mile run, I went on a bit of a hiatus from long runs. There were a few four mile runs in there, some biking, walking, and a trip or two to the gym.

Here is an injury suffered from one of my recent alternative work out choices. You can just make out the large circle of yellow around the ankle bone with a little splash of purple towards the shin. Since my long run today, it's all turned blue and purple. Gotta love those psychadelic bruises.


I would like to say this injury was sustained during my involvement in some high-contact sport like tackle football or rugby. But no. I was cardio-dancing. And enjoying myself thoroughly, I will have you know... Until a single move of sweeping one leg back behind me resulted in a kick to my own ankle with the other heel. From this was borne the new dance combo:One-footed hop, with an "Ow ow ow ow ow!"

I won't have to worry about jazzercising-related injuries much longer as soon my weeks will be consumed by running. My official 10 week half marathon training will begin in a little over a month. I'm looking forward to the challenge but nervous about balancing my schedule and surmounting the aches and pains (knees, shins, metatarsals to name a few) that create obstacles to going the distance.

I'm about to complete my bio for the Teen Mother Choices website--a Christian organization that cares for and supports teen mothers in the Lake County area. I will be running for TMC and campaigning to raise $1,000 for the organization! I know with all my amazing friends and family this will be a cinch.

In the meantime, I'll suppose I should protect my legs by steering clear of the dance floor.

Psalm 149:3: Let them praise his name in the dance: let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp.

The Great Outdoors

While I'm just waiting for the demise of this Twilight Zone-ishly beautiful summer weather we're having in the middle of March, I'm still confident that outdoor running season has commenced (barring the 6 feet of snow we'll get smacked with on April first, I'm sure). Last weekend I went on one of my longer outdoor runs in the surrounding neighborhoods. I didn't intend it to be as long as it was, but whoever planned out the neighborhood streets around here must have been drunk at the time because they are anything but straight. I ended up literally running in a circle through a subdivision I had intended to just cut across.

6 miles and it felt good, but tiring. The addition of hills and pounding pavement added some stress to the body. I've found myself in a slump again this week, not feeling energized enough to run more than a few miles, even in this heavenly weather.

Speaking of the heavenly weather, there's nothing like 70's/80's and incredible sunshine to lift the winter blues. I'm channeling the recent Office episode where Toby pleaded sympathy for his severe case of seasonal depression, and Andy and Dwight mocked him, saying: "Right, Toby. As if everyone isn't experiencing the same winter as you." I'm with Toby; I'm an honest-to-goodness victim of the winter blues who just views the world in a slightly sunnier way when it's...sunnier. Considering the especially miserable winter I went into this year, and the healing passage of time leading into spring, it's all chocking up to be a fantastic time to be alive.

Song of Solomon 2:11 For behold, the winter is past, The rain is over and gone. ¹² ‘The flowers have already appeared in the land...":

All In-Shape-ness is not created equal...

A day after my new longest run to-date (8 miles and counting!), I planned on a low-key workout for my Sunday afternoon. That was before I was approached by my friend, Christi, at church and asked to sub in on her ladies intramural basketball team since they were down a few players. I was a little terrified to accept at first since I'm just a TAD rusty at the game. I mean, it has been 11 years since I warmed the bench on the JV high school team (ahem). But, Christi assured me that there were women with even less experience than I on the opponent team, so I enthusiastically accepted the mission.

The first couple of minutes of the game were positively terrifying as I dusted the cobwebs off my game experience. Where did I stand for the tip-off or at the free-throw line? It didn't that I hadn't actually experienced probably more than 5 minutes of game play in my entire last JV year. Thankfully I didn't have to do much to keep the team afloat but pass the ball to the much more capable regulars on the team who sank shot after shot to dominate the other team. As the game progressed, I gained some confidence and by the end I was left hungry to play some more. It was a pretty healing experience seeing as I left the game in high school having lost all confidence in my abilities and paralyzed by fear at making a mistake. This time around, I didn't have to worry about getting pulled for making a mistake, and my team mates were a lot more encouraging than 15-year-olds, I have to say.

The only unpleasant experience of it all was this realization: I'm out of shape. What? Megan, you're running 8 miles in a row! I would say you're in shape! Well, yeah, I've definitely got endurance running going for me right now. But it's been so long since I've played a sport, I failed to recall that being in shape to run does not translate to the game of basketball. There were a couple times there in the first few minutes of scrimmage that I thought I was going to lose my lunch; I went through two water bottles in 40 minutes. It wasn't until the end of the game that I finally started catching my breath.

Then there was the beginning of the week to remind my body what a weakling it is. I could barely walk Monday and Tuesday, let alone get in any more running. I remember Tuesday jogging determinedly out of my house into the lovely warm air and sputtering down to a walk by the time I reached the end of the block. I've been in need of serious recuperation after one measly basketball game.

I wonder if I'll get the chance to play anymore ball before the half. I think if I could 40 minutes straight of basketball without having to sub out three times for fatigue, I'd be fit enough to do about anything.

Getting Healthy from Fingers to Toe

When it came time for Physical Fitness Testing each year in high school P.E., there were always a couple of sub-tests I didn't particularly look forward to completing. One was the Body Mass Index (BMI) calculation portion. I'll never forget my senior year when the gym teacher came at the back of one of my inexplicably muscly calves. He took one look at the incredibly low fat percentage reading, one look at the rest of my quite large 5 foot 8, 220 lbs frame, and quickly went in search of the more technologically advanced and accurate BMI measuring tool.

The other much-dreaded physical challenge to which I was subjected was the Sit-and-Reach flexibility test. Years of obligatory warm ups in gym class and organized sports had proved me unable to merely touch my shoe laces when performing the typical sit-and-stretch routine. Sticking a 2 foot long box on the END of my feet to measure how much further PAST my feet I could reach was a laughable endeavor.

Despite these areas of deficit, I've always been a pretty in-shape, athletic person. When I had personal trainer sessions in college, Stacy (the trainer) was quite impressed with my capabilities from the very start. Surprisingly, it wasn't my then 5 foot 8, 230 lbs. frame that got her on my case about physical fitness. It was when she tried flexing my leg up as far as she could and I cried mercy rather quickly that she harped about my lack of flexibility.

As previously mentioned, I've never been one to find value in taking the time to stop and stretch when I could be on the go and burning cals. But, I'm well aware of the benefits: reduced likelihood of injury, increased blood flow, and muscle resiliency, among other things. It hasn't been until recently--after ending several mile runs feeling like my legs and back are filled with rocks--that it's really become a necessity in my mind. So, I've stretched, gosh darn it! Good, decent 5 minute rounds of it. And it's felt great.

Yesterday the unexpected pay off came after my longest run to date--7.5 miles. Already feeling pretty great as I got off the track and headed for the equipment room, I had no agenda in mind when I sat down to do the old sit-and-stretch. But as I went through the routine, I paused momentarily at the realization my fingers were touching my toes and my leg was fully extended. My heart did a leap of joy at my newly found talent. I quickly switched to my other leg and found the same success. Pulling my legs together I performed the sit and reach and actually reached my fingers PAST my toes! For good measure, I stood up and successfully performed the best toe touch (the stretch, not the cheerleader move) of my life.

Of all the accomplishments I anticipated in this training regimen, I never expected one of the greatest victories early on would be reaching--literally--farther than I've ever been able to before.

Bring it on Physical Fitness Test! I just may be able to pass you this time!

As pressure and stress bear down on me, I find joy in your commands. Psalms 119:143
(NLT)

Treadmill, I hate thee

Week 8-ish of my new running lifestyle and lease on life...

The honeymoon is definitely over. I remember the first weeks when I was running 5, 6, 7 miles a few times a week and feeling like I would be able to take on a triple marathon by March. But, the dozens of logged miles have started to take their toll on these old bones.

The starts of my runs have definitely become more labored and can be likened to the first few cranks of a rusty wheel before things start going smoothly. The bum knee is finally starting to fire up on me, as are the metatarsals in left foot. I have a feeling I may be making a return visit to Mr. Magic at the Runner's Edge to load up on some knee braces and foot pads.

Running upwards of 75 laps around the same track multiple times a week has started to get a little old, I have to say. I thought I would change things up a little this week and try the treadmill. I used to run on the 'mill all the time, but haven't in many months.

Yesterday, I remembered why. If you want the most monotonous, painfully boring experience of your life, run for 45 minutes in place staring at a wall while the red digits in "Distance" climb at an impossibly slow pace killing any notion that you've been running under 10 minute miles. Not even the latest episode of "One Tree Hill" on mute on the T.V. could distract me from checking on my progress every 10 seconds.

While the surface was a little more kind on my joints, I wasn't used to being subjected to a constant speed and I found myself working much harder than usual just to hit my 4 mile goal for the night. By the end, legs screaming, and the front of my shirt so soaked in so much sweat I might as well have been a 400 lbs. man, I wasn't so sure about managing another NINE miles of this...

I'm looking forward to warmer evenings with more light so I can start treading the pavement a bit more. That's going to be its own beast since asphalt is known to be about the WORST surface for your joints, but at least there'll be more to look at to help combat the mental race.

Just no more treadmills, please.

Colossians 1:11: May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy...

Painful Pruning

Just days before embarking on my 5th annual Winter Retreat with some of the most fantastic people in the world, I experienced my first extremely challenging run. Days before that, I had begun experiencing spontaneous foot, knee, and hip joint pain despite the fact I hadn't even run for 4 days before that. The pain accompanied me on last Thursday's very difficult 7 mile run and there were a few times I thought maybe I should just call it quits. I didn't want to overextend myself if my body was warning me of something wrong, but I wanted to balance that with enduring the inevitable pain coming with long-distance training so as to build my stamina. I ended up making it through, but with the notion I probably shouldn't do another long-distance run over 4 miles for at least a week to allow my body to recuperate.

The retreat at Lake Geneva Youth Conference center (starring 200 middle schoolers from various area churches and my small band of brave 20, 30, and 40 somethings) was a hoot and a half as always. It is so refreshing to receive a yearly license to be loud, obnoxious, and ludicrous and be able to blame it on lack of sleep and too many jostles of the brain whilst midnight tubing.

The other bright spot of the weekend was our speaker, Paul, whose brilliant message left a deep footprint on my heart. He spoke from John 15 (the Vine, the branches, the bearing of fruit, and all that jazz...) and shined all kinds of light on one of those uber familiar passages people tend to gloss right over. But one segment of his message in particular floored me--that of the pruning process for the branches, signifying the trials and tribulations of the believer. The quote Paul read from a commentary on this passage Saturday night was by far the most impactful:

The greatest judgment God could bring to a believer would be to let him alone, let him have his own way. Because God loves us, He “prunes” us and encourages us to bear more fruit for His glory. If the branches could speak, they would confess that the pruning process hurts; but they would also rejoice that they will be able to produce more and better fruit.

Your Heavenly Father is never nearer to you than when He is pruning you. Sometimes He cuts away the dead wood that might cause trouble; but often He cuts off the living tissue that is robbing you of spiritual vigor. Pruning does not simply mean spiritual surgery that removes what is bad. It can also mean cutting away the good and the better so that we might enjoy the best. Yes, pruning hurts, but it also helps. We may not enjoy it, but we need it.

How does the Father prune us? Sometimes He simply uses the Word to convict and cleanse us. (The word translated “purge” in John 15:2 is the same as “clean” in John 13:10. See Eph. 5:26–27.) Sometimes He must chasten us (Heb. 12:1–11). At the time, it hurts when He removes something precious from us; but as the “spiritual crop” is produced, we see that the Father knew what He was doing.

As I listened to this insight, numerous things ran through my head. First, I envisioned my non-believing friends who are/have/will face trials and how this passage and gleaned wisdom could serve as a testimony to them.

Then, I contemplated how I convey this message to my own students through discipline, consequences, and tough love. I put them all through their fair share of suffering and hardship knowing full well its necessity for their growth and refinement and preparation for the future. With their meager pinhole-sized view of the situation, the students easily become resistant, closed-off, or even angry in response. But, my bird's eye view, along with the wisdom and understanding it brings, allows me to intuit that the unpleasantness they face is of great value and promoting their welfare.


The first few minutes after the teaching session I paraded around feeling quite philosophical, enlightened and borderline smug at just how attuned I was to this pruning process already.


Then, at some point it hit me. In this life I am not the wise, all-knowing Teacher, but the impatient, egocentric, ignorant student who whines and laments and manipulates in an attempt to get out of unfavorable situations. Sure, I may be growing in my ability to handle tough situations with grace and prayer and wise counsel; yet I still repeatedly refuse to acknowledge that there is Someone infinitely wiser who loves me dearly, whose ways are perfect, who is orchestrating my life perfectly to reach the destination meant for me.

I need to be perpetually cognizant of my own pinhole-sized view of my world and stop plotting and planning and attempting to usurp control as if I have even an inkling of what the panorama of my life looks like. That's hard to do if I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, as is customary for my line of thinking.

For some reason--be it scars of past wounds, or low self-esteem, or even a warped self-centeredness--I've always had this mentality that I'm not destined to reap the joys of life that others experience (a family of my own, for instance). As a result, I'm all the more propelled to try to seize the joys for myself--as if I have the power.

Taming the control-freak is an ongoing battle in all areas of my life, but perhaps where I need to focus my energies at the moment is reminding myself that God wants as much joy and prosperity for my life as I do, and even more. It's just that, the joy and prosperity doesn't get handed to me in a pretty box the moment I snap my fingers. It comes after many seasons snipping and trimming, wounds and scars.

But it comes.

Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

The grass is sometimes greener on this side...

Having emerged from, what I hope, was the lowest point of grief and feeling more myself again, I've really been able to take a step back and evaluate the state of things around me. The result of this has been a good kick in the pants with the realization of the pain others are experiencing on an ongoing basis. Family, friends, and loved ones are mourning tragedy, battling illness, and are rebuilding their lives from scratch. Even though I've been knowledgeable of these situations, I don't know what's possessed me to almost believe I've been the worst off. I think it's just part and parcel of the fallen human condition that we get lost in our woes and forget to count our blessings, but I'd like to try and rise above that now that I'm aware of my faults.

I randomly stumbled upon a blog kept by a married Christian couple who lost their 9-month-old to a rare and aggressive brain tumor this past year. It follows their journey from his diagnosis to his passing only a month later, and then into their coping process up until now. It scares me to think how caught up in myself I've been while two people are going through a type of pain I can't even fathom, even though they have logged thousands of words about it. I don't have a child and I don't even know these people, but strangely I feel the urge to carry some of the burden with them.

I guess this is the true meaning of compassion, and it's something I'd like to hone while the time is ripe. Admittedly, I'm such an analytical type, so often stuck in my own mind, that it can take a real effort to step outside myself and truly, TRULY care and sacrifice for others. But it's seemed to come a little more naturally lately, and it's been a fruitful time to really connect with others and filling some of my own voids as a byproduct. I hope I only gain momentum in this realm as I continue in my growth process.

Acts 20:35: In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.

[Quick update on the running front: I am currently running 6 miles about 3 times a week with walking and cross training on the days in between. I'm down about 7 pounds from my horrific weigh in of a couple weeks ago--that is, if the scale is reading accurately. This is a great victory seeing as my legs continue to fill out with muscle, and so I must be slimming down in other areas. I'm officially signed up for the Rock 'n' Roll half on July 22nd and will start training officially in a couple months. Since I anticipate being able to run 8 or 9 miles straight by that time, I'll probably pick up later in the training schedule where I'm already running more miles. Onward!]

Rock 'n' Roll!

About 3 weeks into my "New Shoes" lifestyle and--despite deep bruising on my shin due to a freak collision between my leg and one of the meow-meow's heads (the cat is okay...unfortunately) I'm already up to six miles straight.

I'm on a pretty good trajectory seeing as I believe I've found my half-marathon of choice. The 2012 Chicago Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon. I'm told by co-workers who've run it that it's just a big party, and with all the excitement, you're quickly distracted from thoughts of the daunting distance. And let's face it, who wouldn't want to run down the middle of Lakeshore Drive and be handed a beer when you cross the finish line?

The race is on July 22nd, about 26 weeks from now. Given that the typical training program is between 15-20 weeks, it would be overkill for me to start building up to the big miles. At the same time, I don't plan on backing off the running all together. I'm liking the mental and physical satisfaction felt after a long run, and I've found a whole new dose of motivation to eat well.

With intense discipline, achieving new physical heights, and treating my body right comes the new "lease on life". I've really surmounted the sobfest of Christmas break and have emerged renewed in my personal worth, as well as cognizant of just how sweet I've got things in life. That doesn't exactly mean I've "crossed the finish line" on my race to healing my heart. My "NON-resolution"resolution for the year is remembering who I am--God's intention for me despite my obligations and importance to co-workers, friends, family, and especially romantic interests. I've forgotten a lot about that person while busy molding myself into shapes I think may please others.

I wish that journey was as tangible and formulaic as training for half marathon, but I guess it's another lesson in surrendering to what is not completely within my control.

I'm not so good at that.

1 Corinthians 3:16 Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?

The Wii never lies

My room mate got a Wii for her birthday and shortly thereafter purchased the Wii Fit Plus. I was quite excited to reap the benefits of its presence in my household. After I had about exhausted Super Mario Bros. within the first few days of Christmas break, I thought I'd make a more healthful use of my free time and hop on the Fit to change up my work out routine. Though it isn't the most challenging, I'm able to work up a sweat and have a little entertainment too (Rhythm Kung-Fu = the bomb).

I tried it out a time or two before Christmas, and then began my running the following week. The next time I got on the Wii, it signaled that my body weight had changed from the original weigh in. I gloated believeing, naturally, that I had already shed a few pounds from the long distance training. To my horror, however, when I took the body test, it said I had gained about 4 pounds within a week. I scoffed. Yes, I had had quite a bit of holiday treats in the past week, but with the amount of working out I was doing, there was nooooo way I could have allowed myself to gain that much that fast. I jabbed the power button on the Wii with great satisfaction and walked away.

Yesterday, I hopped on again and went straight to the body test. Having done several more runs and feeling really good, I knew for sure this time I had dropped some lbs. I laughed out loud when it told me I'd gained another 5 pounds since my last gaining "mishap". This was just ridiculous. I'd noticed myself starting to trim down in some areas, I had run 5.5 miles the day before, and I was feeling really strong. Clearly this machine was going haywire.

Still, I had to wonder. From what I had online, the Wii board is supposed to be pretty accurate at measuring weight. And, even if it wasn't 100% accurate, the indication of that big of a weight gain was a warning flag. I decided it was time to face the music and test myself on the home scale that's seen me through the years and generally tells me the truth.

Stepping onto the scale, I made a noise like the wind had been knocked out of me at what I saw. It was one of the highest readings I'd seen since I dropped all my weight years ago. Reality check time!

STILL, I was floating down the longest river in Egypt. I had just eaten dinner and I usually weighed myself in the morning and I was...wearing clothes? I decided there was only one way left to determine the truth. I ran and pulled out my tight fitting work pants from Express--the skinniest thing I owned. Jumping into them, I finally had to admit defeat. They barely buttoned.

Hi, I'm Megan, and I've gained a substantial handful of weight since beginning my running program.

It should be a mystifying mystery, but being the "Ms. Fix-It", I am, a few logical explanations came to mind immediately. Mostly all of them were confirmed today when I found this awesome article at Runnersworld.com. Here they are:

The good news: Like the article says, I'm gaining muscle. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know it's the oldest excuse for being fat ever. But, I think I can be granted the claim on this one. I've run 25 miles in the past week and a half. My legs have become big running machines, and my hips just feel like they're--as I so eloquently put it to someone today--going POW right now! My pants are going to be a bit snugger for that.

The bad news: I'm already eating way too much. Holidays definitely have a share in the blame, but I'm also already fulfilling my fear of overeating due to increased exercise. I'm going to have to combat the hunger by packing in the protein (per the article's recommendation) and taking it easy on my favorite: the carbs.

Minor setback, but a good reminder that if I'm not going to be counting Weight Watchers points, I better be counting my trips to the kitchen.











Welcome to my life, hard-boiled eggs

Psalm 107:9 For He satisfies the longing soul and fills the hungry soul with goodness.

I Won't Have my Cake, and I Won't Eat it Either!

Besides restored structure and the chance to start contributing to society again, one of the greatest benefits of returning to normalcy is a return to proper diet.

Only a week into my new running regimen, I've noticed I'm already trimming down a tad in some areas. However, my potential for substantial weight loss is being severely counteracted right now by the fact that Christmas break gives me license to eat the daily rations of a 800 pound polar bear.

With any luck, a strict schedule once again will prevent me from filling in the big gaps of free time with food. On the other hand, the major increase in physical exertion is going to necessitate increased caloric intake. According to an article at Runner's World (see the calorie calculator at the bottom of the article) I'm burning about 127 calories per mile. Right now, running just a little over 5 miles during my work out, I'm burning over 600 calories. That's almost twice what I've been burning in my typical cross-training work outs lately, and my appetite lately is reflecting that.

Unfortunately, I've been more than making up for the burn with pizza or holiday sweets or even one too many 100 calorie packs (one of my specialities: making healthful foods turn into unhealthful foods through mass consumption). I've learned from experience and research that working out a lot can be a real challenge to the diet because it increases hunger pangs and makes you prone to just counteracting the burn with way too much food.

It will be interesting learning to balance the burn with the earn (how many calories I earn back to eat. Yeah, I just made that up. Trademark pending...heh). Counting calories again doesn't excite me. I was a slave to the Weigh Watchers lifestyle for a long time (not like it didn't work, says the girl down 70 lbs. for 5 years now) and the Body Bugg system for a few months it's a little mentally exhausting. But, I suspect if I start seeing some major changes to my body, I might find the motivation to keep on going. We shall see!

1 Corinthians 10:31: So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.